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November 07, 2005

Concert Etiquette

So I get the feeling that people are a little perturbed by their fellow concertgoers lately. For the third time today, I've read a rant about how some idiot(s) at the show is (are) harshing the good times.

Exhibit A (Craigslist. I think I linked to a version of this before):

Yes, you in the pink Killers shirt. You must be a big fan. I know this not because of your attire (although that was a pretty good clue), but because of the way that you raised your hands and rocked them back and forth wildly in my field of vision for the entire show. At first, I admit I was annoyed by the distraction, but soon enough my annoyance turned to curiosity as I began to notice what you were doing.

It started off slowly. There would be a lyric saying "come on" or something similar and your raised hands would beckon slightly. I figured that you were kind of in the moment and perhaps dreaming about beckoning the dreamy midget lead singer to come ravish you in front of your meathead boyfriend. Fair enough. But then a few seconds later, there was a line saying "you shouldn't do that" or something similar and I noticed that you reverted to a wagging finger like Dikembe Mutumbo used to do after blocking a shot.

Exhibit B (mihow.com):

Toby Joe almost got into a fight with the entire O.C. Fan club. The two girls in front of us spoke about emailing boys the entire time AMC was on (the band I most wanted to see) and would clap wildly between songs. Pretty arrogant of them to clap at their own conversations. The sound at The Warsaw leaves a LOT to be desired. But, man, they have one kickin' disco ball.

I have said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, I really have to give *some* of this crap up which is why I left during Spoon's fourth song.

People don't talk during piano recitals, do they? Missy told us that doesn't happen. Why do folks feel the need to do so during other music shows? What happen?

Hey music-goers everywhere: SHUT THE HELL UP.

Exhibit C (Craigslist):

You suck my ass!

I shoulda punched you out first thing straightaway - then maybe your spastic gyrations and off-key yelling of song lyrics wouldn't have annoyed everyone in your general vicinity. Trust me - you are hated by all those who stood in front of Chris Walla about 20 feet from the stage near the stairs. The nice mother next to me wanted to beat your brains out with a rock...

Thank you sooooo much for ruining a perfectly lovely experience. Nobody paid $30 bucks to watch your lame ass flail and listen to you butcher the vocals. Speaking of your ass - that thing was outta control. A word to the wise - other people don't want your ass on them. Ever. Period.

Perhaps you missed that turn that would have taken you to the Bon Jovi concert or some equally inane rocker show where you could have done that cool backwards high five with your idiot pals. Who does that? Did you guys totally make that up all by yourselves?

Hell - even the girls you were with were annoyed. And when you tried to pick that one up - ah well, you shouldn't ever try to pick up a fat girl. Everybody knows that.

Please self-abort immediately if not sooner.

People are getting annoyed. Is it a generational thing? Is it people who like the OC versus the rest of the world? And why the intense hatred? Are people extra-sensitive? Is the music quieter?

Update: Michele from mihow.com emailed me a link to her earlier concert rant.

It made me think of a new solution to concert disturbances. Perhaps you could have concert zones. You could have the singing/drumming/air guitar zone, the text messaging zone, the marijuana smoking zone, the unlimited talking zone (somewhere in the back third), the sweaty zone, the drunks zone, the tall guy zone and the dancing with myself zone.

Posted by timothompson at November 7, 2005 10:38 PM